don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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