all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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