Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
