32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
