Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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