Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize