This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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