I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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