grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
