I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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