Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
