Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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