ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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