Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
