Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
