just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
