Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
