Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
