so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
