I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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