New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
