OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
no more duck duck goose at the bar
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
