Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
