My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
