They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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