Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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