awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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