For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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