She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
