I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
