I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
