the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
