I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
