last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it glows. i had to have it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
