This is not my ceiling
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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