the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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