My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
sex in a hospital.. check
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
