He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
