i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
