I cut my penus on the lid.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
