the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
