she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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