I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
