Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
