I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
