I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
