Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
