I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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