im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
