im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
