I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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