I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
