I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
