I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just found a bag of teeth...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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