Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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