there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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