Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
