Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize