how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
only if we run a train.
done.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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