last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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