I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
