non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
