Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
