Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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