you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
what is it with giant penises always finding me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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