He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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