The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
