My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize